The Body of Christ: Is It In You?

I have avoided Communion every time I’ve had an opportunity to receive it, because I have celiac disease. As anyone with that affliction or even a mild gluten intolerance knows, the slightest bit of wheat will send us running to a bathroom within 20 minutes, & to pain meds & antidepressants within days. It is hard for even those of tremendous faith to get past the fear of crapping themselves dead in church.

A while ago a dear friend of mine (who also happens to be a staunch atheist) questioned the trend in Italy to go to gluten free wafers. “If the wafer becomes the Body of Christ as it passes the lips, why worry about gluten?” I explained the above, that how once you’ve felt gluten tearing up your small intestine & thrusting every last particle of food in your body rapidly toward your descending colon, faith wavers. What if there’s a crumb on your lips that didn’t transform? What if your faith was recently tested and wrung & you kneel at the railing utterly convinced that your bowels will let loose in front of the whole congregation? “What if what if what if” is the enemy of faith &, of course, the mantra of the celiac sufferer.

But I took Communion on Holy Saturday, kinda by accident.

I went up to the railing of my new church with the intent of receiving just a blessing. That’s what I normally do. Christened in the Church of England, I am welcome to take Anglican Communion but, you know, celiac.

When the bishop approached, she had the wafer, & I don’t know what happened. This was the first church I’d been to since I was a small child where I felt the presence of Christ. I opened my mouth, & she gave me the bread. My sister, next to me, shot me a concerned look.

As I shuffled back to my pew, I swallowed & simply said, in my mind, “This is the body of Christ, washed down by the blood of Christ. I’m fine.”

Twenty minutes later, I was still fine.

Two hours later, I was still fine.

The next day, at Easter service, I wept during a moment of silence after the liturgy. Christ’s sacrifice was so great; who am I to begrudge this sacrament? I just about ran up to the rail on Easter, so eager to receive Communion. I had an hour drive out to see my Mum after, & I didn’t care. I wanted that wafer & that wine.

And I never got sick.

On the drive I pondered this. Is my faith in Christ so strong now that gluten has no effect on me? “Don’t be stupid,” said my sceptical mind. “They’re obviously gluten free wafers.” But then I had the thought “Does it matter? I accepted the wafer without question, & either way my faith was rewarded.” And it will continue to be. There is no one on the planet more fired up about Communion than this girl.

As the radio blasted “It’s got to be real” I laughed, car danced to ridiculous disco, & told God I loved Him & my new church. Then “Hot Blooded” came on & I was forced to remember that embarrassing Bones episode.

SURPRISE!!! God!

We all have crises of faith. We beat ourselves up, because He’s done so much good in our lives, but we’re human and we have whingy, needy moments brought on by Daddy/abandonment issues. Don’t be cross with yourself! Jesus was always having to tell the disciples “Oh ye of little faith!” As he was a Jew, I imagine this was said with a bit of world weary exasperation, possibly accompanied with a smack upside the back of the head. He probably also said, “What, I heal the sick in front of you, I turn water into wine, I raise a guy from the fricken dead, and you people are worried about what’s gonna happen tomorrow? Oy!” But that part was not transcribed.

We don’t have the pleasure of the physical presence of Christ in our lives any more, but He’s with us all the same. He’s just on speed dial. Check it:

I describe God’s mysterious work to my clients thusly: you tell your friend your birthday is coming in two months. Your friend gradually becomes more & more secretive. He doesn’t invite you over any more, he doesn’t really talk about what he’s up to, & you think he doesn’t like you any more. Two months later he calls you & asks you to come over. You can be pissy & refuse the call, certainly.

But if you answer it, you’ll find he’s been transforming his home over the past two months into a giant birthday surprise party for you. There’s a bouncy castle IN THE LIVING ROOM. He knocked out walls to accommodate it! He built a waterslide of champagne down his own stairwell. And he made your favourite cake, 50 ft high, so you can literally walk into it & eat it. He invited all your friends & somehow got Kanye to play. In this scenario, pretend you like Kanye.

It was an even better birthday than you imagined, huh?

That’s God.

I Know Ya Planned It; Imma Set It Straight

A couple of weeks ago, I vowed to live a no-excuses life. I had endeavored to do this before, but not vowed. I’ve been engaged twice, so it’s like me to skip out on the vow part.

Not so now, because God made & kept promises to me. He showed me how to view His personal signs to me in a way that only makes sense to me & that I couldn’t use for my clients unless I knew their musical taste very well, but that’s beside the point. The point is, God saw me out of a very unsure & yucky period by saying in no uncertain terms “See, ya dumbass? Don’t say I never gave ya nuthin’.” Cos God talks kind of like Adam Horrowitz. Some of my friends would be pleased to know that God sounds like a New York Jew who converted to Buddhism & could also tear up “Sabotage” if He so chose.

God has in fact been so very clear and direct in His direction & fulfillment that it would be asinine to question or gift horse Him. Now, when He tells me something will happen, I just pretend to look surprised when it does. He is under no obligation to reinforce my faith, but He has, because I was suffering & I asked Him to fix it.

In doing so, several pleasant but distracting things fell away. This was a little sad, but it made room for way awesomer stuff. God specializes in Way Awesomer.

God has given me a lot of tools to discern His will & purpose for other folks, but for me I always questioned. He got a tad sick of that, so He was all “Ya know what, you little asshat? Here’s the deal. You will reckon with the real world, & watch Me collide with it. Bust with the whip-its!” Ok, He didn’t say that last bit.

At first, I understood very little of His messages. Then I perceived my angel (finally, cos I’m dumb), & my angel sounds like Mel Brooks. He said, “Look, we’ve asked so much of her. Would it kill Ya to give the kid a little hint, a preview of coming attractions?” And God was all “[sigh] Well, whatever.”

And lo, I kept hearing Bowie’s “Let’s Dance”.

Ok, that still technically hasn’t helped me yet. But so many other things have. And it makes no sense to any of y’all, but I see pretty clearly now. God answers questions, whatever questions you ask of Him. It’s up to you to bother to do something with the answers. He’s your Father, not your magic genie of fun, nor an ATM.

He is, however, all powerful, all knowing, and all loving. He knows you hurt, or are confused, or terrified. Asking Him to deal with it, in the same way a child might say “Daddy, upsies!” is the fastest way to fix any of that stupid existential shit we first-world ourselves into. It’s also good for the more tangible stuff, like “I need to pay my phone bill. Please help me find a way to do that.”

It’s important to remember that yourself and God are a team. I remember that now, finally. Also, God reserves the right to change the terms of service. He may sometimes give you stuff not in the warranty (the Bible), & that might cause some angst. DON’T LET IT. What comes from God is pure, even if it seems messy &/or too good to be true. Trust that He knows better than you.

Really, I’m powerless & not overly talented at anything. The only way I’m blessed to do anything y’all admire me for is by giving my life over completely to Him. In turn, he’s equipped me to do very interesting things, & He expects results. He also rewards my faith from time to time.

He’s pretty awesome.