Super Green Guac

Twitter has spoken, so I’m gonna have to post the recipe for the best guacamole I’ve ever made. It happened by accident when I realized I had no tomatoes. It is a pure green guac, but if you really can’t live without tomatoes, you could always pop in an heirloom.


I add the avocado last so it’ll stay luscious, green, & not that sort of baby poo brown it gets after some time goes by.

-2 large cloves of garlic
-1 or 2 jalapeños
-two scallions (slice lengthwise & sliver)
-a handful of cilantro

Throw in a bowl, then cut & scoop 2 ripe avocados. Juice half a lime & add that. Get your potato masher & go crazy. I like to imagine the faces of my enemies in the bowl. Once the avocado is a gooey pulp, as should be your enemies’ faces, give it all a good stir w/ as much sea salt as you need.

Serve with delicious tasty dipping things. I like tortilla chips, carrot sticks, or celery.

Mmm, enemies’ mashed faces. Great for parties!