A couple of weeks ago, I vowed to live a no-excuses life. I had endeavored to do this before, but not vowed. I’ve been engaged twice, so it’s like me to skip out on the vow part.
Not so now, because God made & kept promises to me. He showed me how to view His personal signs to me in a way that only makes sense to me & that I couldn’t use for my clients unless I knew their musical taste very well, but that’s beside the point. The point is, God saw me out of a very unsure & yucky period by saying in no uncertain terms “See, ya dumbass? Don’t say I never gave ya nuthin’.” Cos God talks kind of like Adam Horrowitz. Some of my friends would be pleased to know that God sounds like a New York Jew who converted to Buddhism & could also tear up “Sabotage” if He so chose.
God has in fact been so very clear and direct in His direction & fulfillment that it would be asinine to question or gift horse Him. Now, when He tells me something will happen, I just pretend to look surprised when it does. He is under no obligation to reinforce my faith, but He has, because I was suffering & I asked Him to fix it.
In doing so, several pleasant but distracting things fell away. This was a little sad, but it made room for way awesomer stuff. God specializes in Way Awesomer.
God has given me a lot of tools to discern His will & purpose for other folks, but for me I always questioned. He got a tad sick of that, so He was all “Ya know what, you little asshat? Here’s the deal. You will reckon with the real world, & watch Me collide with it. Bust with the whip-its!” Ok, He didn’t say that last bit.
At first, I understood very little of His messages. Then I perceived my angel (finally, cos I’m dumb), & my angel sounds like Mel Brooks. He said, “Look, we’ve asked so much of her. Would it kill Ya to give the kid a little hint, a preview of coming attractions?” And God was all “[sigh] Well, whatever.”
And lo, I kept hearing Bowie’s “Let’s Dance”.
Ok, that still technically hasn’t helped me yet. But so many other things have. And it makes no sense to any of y’all, but I see pretty clearly now. God answers questions, whatever questions you ask of Him. It’s up to you to bother to do something with the answers. He’s your Father, not your magic genie of fun, nor an ATM.
He is, however, all powerful, all knowing, and all loving. He knows you hurt, or are confused, or terrified. Asking Him to deal with it, in the same way a child might say “Daddy, upsies!” is the fastest way to fix any of that stupid existential shit we first-world ourselves into. It’s also good for the more tangible stuff, like “I need to pay my phone bill. Please help me find a way to do that.”
It’s important to remember that yourself and God are a team. I remember that now, finally. Also, God reserves the right to change the terms of service. He may sometimes give you stuff not in the warranty (the Bible), & that might cause some angst. DON’T LET IT. What comes from God is pure, even if it seems messy &/or too good to be true. Trust that He knows better than you.
Really, I’m powerless & not overly talented at anything. The only way I’m blessed to do anything y’all admire me for is by giving my life over completely to Him. In turn, he’s equipped me to do very interesting things, & He expects results. He also rewards my faith from time to time.
He’s pretty awesome.