Every Relationship

It was never my intent to muddle your life

Call into question the purpose of your existence or

Be anything other than an incessant joy

As I am sure it was not your intent to be anything but the same to me

It was never my intent to endure your constant mood swings & cold calculations

It was never my intent to foment uncertainty, as I’m sure it’s never been yours

I wished only to make you smile and sigh contentedly

I will never stop wishing for that

And I will never understand why that is never enough

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All the Atoms

A poem.

There isn’t one particle of anything ever in this

outstanding universe that wasn’t touched by the hand of God and in His mercy

He has seen fit to take crude flesh and place it here where It can

Be in this warmth and

Soak in this sun and

80 degrees in January yes

God even saw fit to make LA to

Put these people here in this tortured geography and hope they’ll do their best but

Some of them are evil and

Some of them are magnificent and

Some of them are angels and

This is their city and

They run this town

On the down low

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A poem on the edge of a new year

Upon the Board

Expectation in suspension

This is the hovering, the inhalation

The sips of certainty drowned by torrents of wonder

How impervious now to failure we think we are

Surely this will be executed with no splash

A pike, a double twist, and abundant prayer

Fervent at every breath of every waking moment

And catching in the apnea of evening during precious minutes of sleep

A longing moan for More of the Lord Our God

Fill the spaces scourged of joy

Smooth the scars jagged and wary

Grant us peace in our day and

In thy mercy keep us free from sin

Except the mild ones we crave

Let’s have a few of those from time to time to laugh about and smile

And only tell those few whose eyes will twinkle

While You wonder if we ever read Paul’s letters and You know full well we did and that we believe so earnestly in salvation that we think it’s probably okay

And what is sin anyway and

Isn’t everything kind of a sin anyhow and

It was like that when I got here

And thank You for Your love or

Surely there’s a place for me in hell right next to Henry Miller & my

Punishment is having to listen to him recite his own

Awful books

For eternity

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Two Poems

Poem 1:

Mitosis is
when one cell splits to heal
repair and
grow
But meiosis makes new people
I don’t know which happened to us

Poem 2:

  
It might be a camp fire
or a small sun but
it is the beam of a lighthouse
to this blinding cone

All light penetrates darkness but
yours penetrates yet more light
That’s a hell of a trick reserved for
angels and
their baked goods

Sense of Humour

  
I cried “Why don’t you help me?” and
God said nothing I could hear.

I said “You have abandoned me!” and
God said “Have I?”

I declared “You don’t exist!”
and God said “If you say so, dear.”

I studied and read, I sought mentors. I had
magic, incense, candles, bells, incantations, circles, water, salt, spells, dragons, quarters, elements, cords, herbs
fucking craft projects
God said “Well, this is all very interesting! What does this one do?”

I studied and read, I quoted Lao Tsu & Chong Tse & Sidartha & the Lotus Sutra & I breathed mantras to Kuan Yin through tears and then
God said “Well, this is familiar.”

And then God said “Look, here is a shiny thing. Behold; it is well formed and kind.”
I beheld the shiny thing and breathed in its light and cried.

God said “I am calling to you, but I know how you are. Do you know how I am yet?”
And I said, sniffling, “Maybe.” And then, “Show me more. Please?”
And God said “I know how you are & I know what you need. You are a funny girl.”

And he led me to a dense place, packed with love as gauze fills a wound. There was room for me.

I became sicker and God said “I know how you are. I know all of you. Help each other out.”

The power of Christ compels me.

I writhe unable to sleep just trying to comprehend
what is the end
why didn’t this one thing happen
or this other
then it does
and God laughs and says “You are a funny girl. Don’t you know me by now?”

Sparkling

 

You are every bubble that
spews from a champagne glass 
and 
you are every flicker of light
You are that stream that children let out under water when they are turning somersaults and you
are 
singeing the edges
and
warming the room
and clearing the gloom.