A Personal Relationship

Pic by Gage Skidmore.

We are about to have the dumbest conversation. You are going to laugh at me. I’m okay with this.

First, since perhaps 10 people read this blog, I will have to answer your question, which is “Why is there a picture of Chris Hemsworth on your blog? You’ve never mentioned Chris Hemsworth to me in conversation, you don’t follow comics, & you never watch superhero movies. This is literally the first time I have ever even seen you acknowledge that Chris Hemsworth exists.”

And you would be right, dear reader, if this was a picture of Chris Hemsworth. And…okay, technically, it is. But wait! There’s more!

On June 15, I awoke & wrote the following in my personal journal, which I will now share with you after some encouraging words from my spiritual director:

Dreamt I was at a dinner party with Simon Helberg, who was about to eat a chunk of poisoned chicken until Jesus walked in & took it before he could. I burst into tears because for some reason I was the only one who knew what was happening, that Christ was dying, died, but came back almost immediately. Nobody else knew what was going on.

He winked at me upon Returning, & after that, everyone was at peace, even the ones who didn’t know what was happening. I was still sobbing, so he took me over to a corner to talk.

I could have asked my Lord & my God anything at all in that moment, but first I started with “Are you okay?”

He laughed & put out his arms in front of him as if examining them, then twirled around. “Yup, right as rain!”

So my follow up question was, “Uh, Jesus?”

“Yes, Kellie?”

“Why do you look like Chris Hemsworth?”

He laughed. “Now now. I look like Thor.”

Note: Jesus was not costumed like Thor. He looked like Chris Hemsworth going to a casual California dinner party.

This was unhelpful. “Okay…why do you look like Thor?”

He made a face that wasn’t unkind, but seemed a little weary. “Well, my child, so many people here [he gestured, indicating the whole Earth] don’t know me anymore. They have no concept of God, or what concept they do have is scary.” He brightened. “But everybody knows Thor! He’s the only god some of them have even heard of!” He laughed.

“But Jesus,” I went on. “I don’t watch those movies or even like that whole genre. Like, I don’t read super hero comics.”

Jesus laughed. “That’s exactly my point! Even you know who Thor is. So there you go!”

This was supposed to satisfy me, so it did. I then woke up. And now every time I think of Jesus, I think of him looking like Chris Hemsworth, & smiling, & being my brother who is very supportive & sometimes laughs at me (not unkindly).

Jesus appears to all of us in a way that will make sense to us (or not, in my case, but I have a high tolerance for weird). Christ may come to you with the face of a beloved family member or favourite teacher or for you it may be Robert Downey Jr. How the hell should I know?

The Christ concept I had previously created in my head was a young Jewish…I guess realtor, but usually dressed like he was about to play racquetball. This is the Jesus I prayed to & spoke to, especially in the car. I will say it never quite rang true to me, though. I was very conscious that I had created a modern Christ, that he was someone I purposefully created to talk to, & that he himself never presented as an ’80s stereotype (replete with sweatbands).

This new version that came to me in a non-lucid dream is not anything I would have imagined, dreamed up, or picked. It sounds inauthentic, but upon encountering him, it is absolutely correct. Don’t ask me why that is…it makes no sense & it doesn’t have to.

Christ may appear to you as Ben Vereen or Danny Trejo or Phyllis Diller for all I know. It’s none of my business. But if you can have a 100% honest conversation with that image of Christ & be open to love unimaginable because of it, GO THERE. BE WITH THAT. Rest in that joy!

Maybe Jesus wants everyone to know that whatever happiness you get from watching Thor do things or thinking about Thor or whatever Thor means to you (& I 100% literally have no idea so don’t @ me) is what he wants with you. I don’t know. Jesus knows that I write, so maybe he wanted me to write about this. I was keeping it to myself pretty much, but here we are. Now all 10 of you know.

Maybe in prayer tonight, ask Jesus to come hang out with you. See how he appears. He may be a movie Jesus or a Discovery channel Jesus, or he may be something totally unexpected. Most importantly, he doesn’t have to be the authentic human creation that walked this earth for 33 years over 2 milennia ago, because he’s infinite again. HE CAN BE LITERALLY ANY IMAGE THAT SPEAKS TO YOU. It’s okay!

For me, this above picture perfectly illustrates our relationship. He is always smiling because he’s usually on the verge of laughing at whatever I’ve said, but kindly, like you’d laugh at a child’s meandering story. He is always interested to hear what I feel & sometimes is just waiting for a chance to give me a hug. And he wants us all to come & live with him in light everlasting. Forever.

Go say hi. See what happens.