In Remembrance of Me

You guys, I’m sorry, but I’m obsessed with the Eucharist again.

“Oh God,” you sigh, rolling your eyes. “I thought we were over this yearsago. Write about something else, please. Or write about sexting again. Everybody liked that.”

No. We will revisit the Body and Blood of Christ, especially since I have…additional insights.

Also today is the feast day of Frances de Sales, the patron saint of writers, & I’m writing. About Jesus. So there. Logos to your Holy Mother. *crosses arms like an ’80s rapper*

The 15 or so priests who read this blog with tremendous amusement and forehead slapping are anxiously awaiting my additional insights, so I will tell you that they come of being super into bringing all the Eucharist kit up for healing masses or setting it up after any masses at St. Nicholas, and by Eucharist kit I of course mean the chalice assembly, but I always have to come up with a cutesy name for all the things.

Not actually called a Eucharist kit.

Y’all are lucky I don’t call it Jesus Gear.

Anyhow, this fills me with great delight. As literally insane as this might sound to normies, I get a huge kick out of carrying Christ materials about. It used to terrify me, as I was convinced I would trip, but now I’ve learned to balance bottles of holy water & wine with a chalice assembly & a number of other accoutrements, all in one trip. It’s like I bundle all the Jesus in my arms & share him with errbody. It’s fun.

I also think other stuff is fun. Don’t worry too much.

Tonight I was going over the clean up process in my head, over and over, & the reassembly of the Eucharist kit. It’s like wrapping presents. It fills me with unspeakable joy.

Is this even remotely sane? I don’t even know whom one goes to in order to complain about such a thing. “Doctor, Doctor. You’ve got to help me. I keep thinking about the Eucharist.”

It’s not just The Stuff. I love the liturgy around it. I’ve memorized like two versions of it. I get annoyed if the rhythm of it is disturbed. That’s something I have to work on.

I of course enjoy receiving it, as I’ve written many times before. We have a funny little process down at St. Nicholas, where I have my own little bowl of gluten free, though if we want to be super Catholic, I’m apparently supposed to have a little thing of wine that gets poured before the bread goes in. I’m down for that, too. I will miss the very different textured gluten free host, but I want to do whatever is Correct. And also not destroy my small intestine.

It is not lost on me how unfair it is that I can’t do Communion like a normal person, but I also stopped worrying about things being unfair when I was 13 years old. Life is unfair & stupid. Our job is to be graceful anyway.

Is there any way I can just live in a church all the time and just do church things? Is that being a nun? Should I be a nun?

OMG SHOULD I BE A NUN?!

Since I am not at this time a nun, please buy my very not-a-nun books.

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4 thoughts on “In Remembrance of Me

  1. Blake Watson says:

    I do not know what “9 millimeters to the dome” is, so I’m lost on the whole sexting thing. Though you have an account there called “shemalehugecock” quoting Proust at you, so there’s that.

    Anyway, I think it’s cool, but I’m not a normie. Well, I guess I’m a normie by your definition?

  2. “Life is unfair & stupid. Our job is to be graceful anyway.”

    This sums it up wonderfully. Well done.

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