Hermione & Himmione & the Marshmallows of Fire

This happens later.


As the absence of Draco completely changes the story, today the part of Girl Harry is played by Hermione, shifting Boy Hermione to Himmione, which is what I may start calling him in real life, too.

(See the beginning if you have no idea what’s going on.)

As Ancient Runes is clearly not enough for Himmione or Hermione, they have, as you’ll recall, taken up Ancient Greek, for fun, which is what people whose names end in -mione do.

Draco was sadly absent from this particular study session, texting Hermione while she was at brunch with her dorm mate that he was having a particularly long oil change. This might have been true, but then this is also a Malfoy, & it could be bollocks. Nevertheless, Hermione texted Himmione that Draco was most likely going to be absent, & they got on with it anyway.

Meeting up at the Three Broomsticks, the children got out their books & translated the riveting tale of the Minotaur. When it’s just the ‘Miones, there are a lot of excited interruptions & pauses over points of interpretation, smoother story telling, idiomatics & grammar. This happens when Draco is there, too, but much less. There are also several side conversations into superior Greek grammars & anecdotes about professors. This is all a kind way of saying that Hermione & Himmione are more colloquially described as nerds.

The ‘Miones also have zero qualms about correcting each other without the niceties people expect, which is refreshing & expedient, even when HERmione has cramps & wants to stab all men (& did jokingly threaten HIMmione, once. Maybe twice).

Even with all this exhuberant nitpicking, the ‘Miones are through the story of Theseus & the Minotaur in slightly over an hour, giving them around 3 hours before Ancient Runes begin. Both of them cannot be arsed to drive home & back, being so close to Hogwarts, so they decide to park at the school & walk to a new cafe. Hermione has brought a book to read (just in case) & Himmione already has a backpack filled with everything he is working on at any given time. Down the bloody great hill they go.

The cafe does not actually open until Wednesday. The ‘Miones attempt to figure out where to take themselves, when Himmione gets the grand idea to walk back up to the school & see if they can study/read there. Hermione notes that he is kindly walking a little slower this time, so even though she is wearing a bit of a heel, it’s much easier to go back up the hill than last week.

As Liquid Luck would have it, Aberforth is emerging from the great hall right as the ‘Miones approach (pro-SKO-roo-seen). He lets them in because the ‘Miones are inherently trustworthy, & they have sweet, innocent little angelic faces. Felix Felicitas was working overtime because there were also tables & chairs set up. Hermione always picks the most defensible seat (back to a corner, facing the door…part of her Harry personality) & Himmione sits across from her. They work in silence for nearly a couple hours, interrupted only once when Hermione hears noises near the kitchen & goes to check it out, totally prepared to Stupify someone.

She sees Neville! She opens the door & calls out “Neville! Hi!” He is surprised to see her poking her head out the locked great hall, & then Luna emerges from the Even Greater Hall. Everyone is surprised to see each other. Neville & Luna were picking their wedding hymns with Professor Flitwick, & Hermione explained that she & Himmione were just killing time between Ancient Greek & Ancient Runes.

Luna & Neville & Hermione are going to the same party later, but Luna & Neville are not going to Ancient Runes, so they all say “See ya later!” & Hermione gets back to her book.

Around 4, Hermione has to go pick up a great deal of cheese for Profressor Flitwick’s reception, & Himmione has to pick up an older wizard, so they part company & go to their errands. Cheese acquired, Hermione returns to the Hogwarts kitchen with Seamus & Flitwick & begins poorly slicing up cheese while Seamus creates a hostile working environment.

Soon Ancient Runes begins. Hermione is joined by another of her friends & Himmione arrives with the older wizard, who was splinched & needs to be driven. The class is wonderful as always, accompanied by male singers with beautiful voices, & mostly everyone goes into the great hall for cheese & wine.

Himmione, who is also going to the party later that evening, takes off to rest first. Hermione, who is not quite as practical, remains in the great hall but gets to talk a great deal about books & art & film with her friend Fleur (& her Bill). After they leave, Hermione finds herself chatting with Professor Trelawney, which is ok, & Ernie MacMillan, which was decidedly better. Realizing she was now late to the party, Hermione jumps up, washes a couple of glasses, & disapparates.

She arrives in a part of town she’s never been, & rings the doorbell. No one comes. So she walks around the side of the house, which sets off a protego charm & she is nearly blinded. This prompts her host to tell her to just walk in the front door, which she does, & is greeted by the birthday girl, whom she hands a small present.

She then goes round the back outside where young wizards from other schools are playing a more sanitary version of beer pong. She makes friends with a couple girls, one of whom knows her younger sister’s high school drama teacher, which shows how small the wizarding world is.

A tall blonde girl at the beer pong table hears Hermione say that she’s from Hogwarts, & she asks if she knows Himmione. She says she does, & that he should be along shortly. This pleases the blonde girl. Hermione also remarks that Himmione will probably take the exact same course of action to get into the party that she did, as they are both excessively polite. And that is exactly what happens.

Himmione actually knew more of the people at the party than Hermione did, so he was catching up with his friends while Hermione made new ones (men…de Hermione observes in Greek). Hermione was mostly discussing witchcraft & space exploration with her new acquaintances until she & the tall blonde got very excited when Dean said they could light a fire & roast marshmallows.

A group of girls formed around the fire, & the blonde girl demonstrated a fantastic marshmallow roasting technique that Hermione enjoyed greatly. Eventually Luna & Neville turned up, & they sat with Hermione & talked about sci-fi & music & church & how this is pretty much all they ever do at every party until way past midnight. Himmione had escaped way before that.

Hermione did not have one drop of alcohol the entire evening, proving once & for all that it is Draco that is the bad influence on her, & not the other way around.

IN YOUR FACE, HIMMIONE.*

*this is kind of how Greek goes, too. Well, internally.

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