Tonight I finally went to Compline at Saint John’s Cathedral. Brit has mentioned it on Facebook & in person a few times, & Chris reminded me, so I took the 101 to the 405 to the 10 to the 110 to get there. If you live in Los Angeles, you know how much I love Jesus now.
I was having quite a bit of post High Mass angst. As y’all could probably tell, this has been a harrowing year filled with loss & violence & needful change. High Mass sort of keeps me sane, but once it’s over & everyone’s left coffee hour, I have to trudge back home where there are no cats any more, where the failures of my adulthood hit me in the face like a badly caught football.
You all know me to be a fairly cheerful creature, but lately it’s just been too much. I’m over it. I need for things to be bright.
So why not pray in the darkness, holding a single lit taper, while a choir intones gorgeous harmonies as one voice, praising God?
My brain is completely reset. I feel at peace. I will probably sleep well tonight. I want to go forever and ever, amen.
Talking about sci fi for an hour after with Chris & Mark most certainly did not hurt (even though I was a didactic psychology git for part of that, which is a flaw I am not sure how to purge). We probably laughed too loudly, but I don’t think anyone minded.
I was going to write another poem about this, but I don’t think it’s necessary. This is a set of emotional responses I can simply categorize:
Today was amazing from start to finish.
I am calm and happy.
I love my church friends.
I love compline. It was much better than Cats (& my compline app). I will go again & again.