Rape Prevention & Why Y’all Are Idiots

I’m over everybody, on the left & right, everybody talking about rape on Twitter. Not only does it not occur to any of these well meaning hand wringers that every time a survivor even sees the word rape, he/she goes into a tale spin of post traumatic stress, they also tend to miss a major point: that rape is going to happen, & no amount of education, preparation, or prayer is going to stop it.

We are born animals, & we all have animal inclinations. No one is exempt from this, though most people have a rational handle on it. You can call it original sin, you can call it primal instinct, you can call it pure evil. We’re all imperfect, & the only rational defense against evil is to give the less evil the means to defend themselves against it.

Now let me drop some science.

I was part of a graduate psychology study in which we produced 3 films targeted for “high risk” rape inclination populations: college aged men in athletics & fraternities. Due to various statistics & whatnot, these young bucks were considered more likely to commit date rape. Lots of booze, lots of entitlement, high achieving, cultures of permissiveness, yadda yadda.

The 3 films represented 3 modes of changing young men’s thinking about rape. We made all 3 to test which mode increased their aversion to indulging in what the internet would term “rapey” activity.

The first film was meant to develop empathy with potential victims. It showed girls crying, going to counseling, having their sex assault kits run, & even graphic photos of post-assault vaginas. It was brutal. That one had little effect.

The second one had so little measurable effect that I don’t even remember what it was about.

The third was consequence-based. “Here’s what happens if you get caught & convicted for rape.” College & career failure, disappointment of parents, & prison rape were highlighted. We even had a super creepy ZZ Top looking guy talking about fish & young asses. This film had the most discernible effect on post test. We decided this was the one we’d show for those “Don’t rape people” seminars campuses like to have.

Empathy didn’t work. Consequences did. Harsh penalties for rape & the social stigma attached to being labeled a rapist work, kind of, in young men who care about such things.

This of course has zero effect on the sociopath, persons with Antisocial Personality Disorder, & hardened criminals. They don’t give a hot damn about consequences. They don’t care if you’re drunk, old, sick, a child, wearing a burka or even Crocs. They just want to dominate & humiliate weaker persons with sex.

Because they can.

The only way to prevent all rape is to make it so you cannot be raped by anyone. Being armed at all times is an excellent first step. This doesn’t help children, it doesn’t help the mentally ill, it doesn’t help the comatose, infirm, or those who lock their weapon in a safe in a different room than the one they’re in.

Rape, murder, and assault are not going away, ever. Most people have the self control to not attempt any of these violent crimes. So most people should be armed at all times. That’s just life. Laws can only punish, not prevent. Most guns drawn and knives pulled to prevent crime need not even be fired or stabbed, but if you feel you can wow someone with your blackbelt in a martial art, think about how close you want that person.

Should you be unarmed, dig your thumbs into his eye sockets, should thrusting his genitals into his abdomen with your knee fail to yield results.

This of course doesn’t work for the drugged, or those knocked out from behind.

Do you understand now? We cannot prevent all rape, even if armed. But we can prevent a hell of a lot of violent crime by arming most people. Most people are not criminals.


23 thoughts on “Rape Prevention & Why Y’all Are Idiots

  1. Amy Mousepants says:


  2. Cindy says:

    Interesting that the research noted, “Empathy didn’t work. Consequences did.” I find this interesting because God uses consequences — threat of illnesses, land and nations being cursed (as America is in the process of experiencing), hell, and so on — to promote holiness in his prone-to-straying children. Perhaps, there is science in the Bible after all? In fact, if you dug in the Bible for yourself (instead of relying on the media for shallow and superficial renderings of God), you would find that the Bible is riddled with science. God and science go hand-in-hand (that is, until scientists try to erroneously expel God from the equation). All science really is, is humanity trying to understand their environment/the universe. And yes, the world is rationale because our God is rational.

    If you have been raped and are feeling depressed, may I suggest, as Peter said, that you try “casting all your care upon [the Lord]; for he careth for you” (1 Peter 5:7). The void deep within you will never be plugged until you do because we were made to link up with God. And, he reveals himself to you in ways that confound and defy our natural world (as there are realms we are not privy to) when we wholeheartedly pursue him with a teachable spirit. He doesn’t expect people to blindly worship him. He gives us tangible and supernatural experiences when we strive to align ourselves with him. True story.

    By the way, this has nothing to do with the “left” or the “right” and everything to do with your salvation. We will live, what, 100 years at most (but more than likely that is too generous of an estimate). Thus, we should be striving to figure out if there is a God (and I assure you there is one who wants to reveal himself to you) and, if so, we should be working to make heaven our home, as we are guaranteed an everlasting life in heaven if we choose holiness and make our home in Christ while on earth.

  3. There absolutely should be adverse consequences for those who commit rape. Empowering women to defend themselves is also an excellent move.

    Good men and women can also talk about this and petition for whatever education measures may be deemed necessary. An once of prevention can be better than a pound of cure. I wonder what makes the college bucks apparently think that date rape is ‘okay’? Does pornography have a part to play in infuencing young men’s [and women’s] minds? [Or not].

  4. Bex says:

    How dare you pretend to be concerned for the feelings of victims and then turn around and tell them that their assaults were just natural parts of the human experience.


    • kelliejane says:

      Not sure how you got that out of my piece. As a survivor of sexual assault, I’m simply all too aware of the reality that there are situations we can’t prevent. To say otherwise is victim blaming.

      • bexvankoot says:

        “Rape, murder, and assault are not going away, ever… That’s just life.”

        When you tell women that it is their responsibility to arm themselves against rape, you are victim blaming.

      • kelliejane says:

        No, when you tell women that rape can be educated away, & then we are raped, we are made to feel like we have done something wrong.

      • bexvankoot says:

        We have done something wrong. We have all done something wrong by perpetuating rape culture. When you say that rape is inevitable, who do you think is getting raped by those inevitable rapists? Ghosts? Figments? No, REAL WOMEN. When you tell women that rape is inevitable, so they just have to be good enough (ie. armed enough) not to get raped, what does that tell the women who don’t feel like they are capable of shooting a man in the face?

      • kelliejane says:

        Unfortunately there was nothing that could be done to prevent my assault, including being armed. You seem to keep skipping over that part. If you’d like to insist that it could have been educated away despite how much education my perp had, that’s your right, but I choose to protect myself anyway I can in future.

      • bexvankoot says:

        You just said yourself that being armed wouldn’t have prevented your assault. I don’t know what kind of childhood your abuser had, but it seems pretty obvious that he was not taught empathy and the importance of consent.

      • kelliejane says:

        No, he was. It just didn’t take. Being educated isn’t a guarantee of safety, & neither is being armed. Both can reduce but not eliminate chances of assault. Maybe you understand me now.

  5. eshowoman says:

    that rape is going to happen, & no amount of education, preparation, or prayer is going to stop it.

    Until 1974 it was legal to rape black women because they were “naturally licentious.” After the JoAnne Little case these assaults dropped precipitously. The threat of jail time stopped hundreds of years of sexual exploitation. Rape can be prevented.

    • kelliejane says:

      I completely agree w/ the necessity of criminal punishment for sexual assault & rape. Sadly there are some who just don’t care, & that is never the victim’s fault.

  6. Finally, some goddamn reasoning & progressive thought injected into the discussion

    This reminds me of “The Dark Knight Rises”

    “Selina Kyle: [holding a gun to Daggett’s head as Bane’s henchmen approach her] Stay back!
    [Bane’s men continue to approach]
    Selina Kyle: I’m not bluffing!
    Batman: They know! They just don’t care!”

    That is the type of ish criminals are on.

  7. Ken L. says:

    If this was true then the number of rapes/assaults would always be constant and would not vary by culture. All you have done is proved that a short film cannot undo a lifetime of being immersed in rape culture.

  8. “…every time a survivor even sees the word rape, he/she goes into a tale spin of post traumatic stress…”

    Thank God this is not true. Even though I have been diagnosed, by various health care professionals, with what is apparently a rather severe case of PTSD, seeing the word “rape” is not enough to set off my symptoms. Many of my sister (and brother) survivors are made of much stronger stuff than that! I would suggest that, if the mere sight of the word “rape” triggers PTSD symptoms, this is a sign that help is needed — whether it is effective therapy, finding the right meds, being part of a support group of survivors, of working through a resource such as “Resurrection After Rape” by Matt Atkinson. In fact, the best solution might be a combination of those.

    “The only way to prevent all rape is to make it so you cannot be raped by anyone. Being armed at all times is an excellent first step.”

    I’m all for self-defense and a strong believer in responsible gun ownership. However, I cannot legally be armed at all times. If your state has super-lenient concealed carry laws, that’s great! Just know that many of us are not as blessed. In addition, many of us were raped by men who gained our trust, or in situations in which we couldn’t have been armed. Like a lot of “rape prevention” advice, this avoids the realities of the majority of rapes.

    • kelliejane says:

      The second point you made is addressed in the piece, but I understand if that was difficult to read. I could not defend myself either for very practical reasons.

      As to the first point, people use the word “rape” on social media flippantly, such as “George Lucas raped my childhood.” I would like for such persons to please understand that even though Attack of the Clones is an abomination, those words in that order (or a different one) trigger a lot of people w/ post assault PTSD. YMMV. I’m glad that doesn’t happen to you.

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