Space, The Stalled Frontier

My Twitter timeline is filled with people lamenting the end of the shuttle era, with no space program in sight to replace it.

You guys keep forgetting that Area 51 houses the nigh miraculous Space Barge, that will safely transport important Americans from Earth. Inexplicably, persons on that list include Tim Pawlenty & Bravo Andy.

The Space Barge is powered with a combination of Keystone Light & children’s wishes. The United States Science Corps has been working on this secret formula since 1977, when it was learned the Russians were *this* close to a vodka-powered wormhole generator. Thankfully for the US space program, Russians drink vodka, but nobody drinks Keystone Light. And children’s wishes remain our most potent natural resource.

President Obama has promised that the Space Barge program is also supplemented by the truly astounding matter transmogrification program, which to Star Trek fans would seem much like a transporter. The President has bravely volunteered to test this himself, which is why he is now frequently late to his own press briefings. It is not…perfected.

You know what? I can’t even keep this up any more. I’m too pissed off. Yes, Bush ended the shuttle program, but Obama scrapped a replacement. So now what?

Please vote for someone who gives a damn about American ingenuity in 2012, America. You want jobs? LET’S INVENT SOMETHING. Spring up an industry. Nobody has any ideas? Seriously?

Update: Please see Chris Barnhart’s comments below for NASA’s private sector developments. There’s hope at the end of an era.

7 thoughts on “Space, The Stalled Frontier

  1. is the very unscrapped replacement. Development is just being shifted to the private sector.

  2. Casey says:

    Ideas. Lets leave the ideas to E. Musk, Burt Rutan and a host of ‘idea’ guys. Our government? I’m actually GLAD the shuttle program is ending. As a kid who actually thought he’d be living on Mars now, not based on wistful thinking but rather the pace of advancement regarding space, the government can basically suck donkey balls for all I care. Oh wait…they DO already. 😀

  3. At least the US government could (formerly) be counted upon to spend money on space exploration even when it might rather spend it on “going green” or statues to honor somebody-or-other. Folks running their own companies might want to invest in space exploration or space flight, but they need the capital to pay for R&D and salaries and such. If our economy does not begin a true recovery, space might become a luxury that none can ill afford, public or private. In the vacuum of space, who will hear our cries of despair if we are never able to travel any farther than the moon?

  4. Now that our guys and gals have to ask them for a ride, I guess we can finally say who won the space race.

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