The Bright Side of Suffering

The really fantastic thing about physical pain & disability is that you find out who your real friends are real fast & how to prioritize.

Will the world end if you don’t vacuum? No. Is the person who only seems to enjoy talking to you when you’re “on” someone you’d call when you’ve fallen & can’t get up? No.

You find out who is your friend & who is your therapy client. Your audience. You find out that certain people are more grown up than you gave them credit for, & some far less.

You realize you’ve been pushing someone away because you didn’t understand what they were offering. You resolve to accept it now. You learn that Doritos are not food. You learn to talk in plain English. You exasperate of games. And, as Kurt Schlichter might say, your tolerance for morons wears ever thinner.

You admit that even the smallest help is help.

You concentrate on the people who really matter.

You remember you have a body, & to accept that “mind over matter” is mostly a figure of speech.

You learn to say to no. You give yourself permission to ignore people who want too much of your energy.

You figure out what love actually is. It demands nothing but gives selflessly. There’s more than that, but that’s the first way to recognize it. And love sustains. It does not merely maintain.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me to use fibromyalgia for good. I wouldn’t have sorted that out on my own.


11 thoughts on “The Bright Side of Suffering

  1. Lyn says:

    KJ you have a unique way of looking at the world, and for that I thank you. You are a friend and confident who pushes through the pain and freely hands out pearls of wisdom.
    I wish there was a magical pill that would take away your pain. You are a wonderful person with a wicked sense of humour and a talented, if somewhat unorthodox writer.
    Gentle hugs for whenever you need them.

  2. Xenaclone says:


    As the hymn puts it:-

    ‘Brother, sister let me serve you; let me be as Christ to you
    Pray that I may have the grace to let you be my servant too’


  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kellie Jane Adan, PC, Polly Hoar, Polly Hoar, Ai Politics and others. Ai Politics said: Wow. RT @thekelliejane: The Bright Side of Suffering: […]

  4. bteacher99 says:

    You are a gem.

  5. Tonya Gemmer says:

    A wonderful way to look at life KJ. I’ve come to similar views as I’ve aged and gone through problems of life. I’m sorry you’ve had to come to these realizations through pain and illness and not normal progression of time. On the bright side, you have a jump on others who are pain free. Sending you great big (but gentle) spiritual hugs.

  6. Mae Lu says:

    What a beautiful list of lessons.

    The fact that I might have Fibro scares me.

    Of course, my lupus is very mild. Hopefully if I do have Fibro, it will be extraordinarily mild as well.

    But your lessons… although learned hard, they are beautiful, inspirational ones.

    Although, I do believe Mind over Matter does work. Despite pain and thoughts of pain, I was able to run a half marathon (13.1 miles) and get there… I can’t run that far anymore, but for awhile, during one of my worst years (for my legs and arms), I was running and my mind helped me trump the pain. This year, the back is a different story… but at times, Mind Over Matter can work!

    Prayer. Faith. Belief. You know the drill!

    You are a heroine.

    Mae Lu, @ thereafterish.

    • kelliejane says:

      Mae Mae, you truly ARE one of my friends & I trust you beyond most on Twitter. Trust me also when I say I pray for you, for your pain to abate, & that I am amazed at all you have accomplished physically & otherwise, too!

      Mind over matter is important, as is faith, but my problem is I take Mind Over Matter into Denial of Problem territory, & that just makes me worse. Your example shows that when a person is not in denial (& I saw your tweets on your training) & you rest when you have to & push when you can, you can do great things. Love you! xoxo

  7. QueenAimee says:

    I loved this post. You are such a great writer. You’ve
    taken a lot of what life has given to you and smacked it in the
    face. Thank you for the uplifting post, we often need to be
    reminded that even in the face of our trials that God has given us,
    there is still a lot of good to be discovered. You are

  8. Ex-ExZonie says:

    Poignant and well said. When I had pain from cancer I offered it to God as a tiny tiny sacrifice. It helped. God bless you and all sufferers of fibro.

  9. Wakefield says:

    “The really fantastic thing about physical pain & disability is that you find out who your real friends are real fast & how to prioritize.”

    Damn straight on that point!

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