Life In The So Called Space Age

Lots of you don’t “get” Twitter, & that’s fine, but this is what Twitter is supposed to be used for…ok, maybe not. But this is the best use I’ve gotten out of it since the “fake Chuck spoilers” night of hilarity:

Me: @adamsbaldwin *tap tap* You’ve helped me lose 2 followers today. ROCK! Now I feel like I’m saying something! 😉

ChuckMeMondays: 2? I lost 10! Pffft.

Me: You have more followers than me. 🙂 You are more important than me, though.

CMM: I have less than 3 times your followers and lost 5 times more. So… my loss hurts more. 🙂

Me: Darling that’s bad math & you know it. Wait, did you post a pro-Baldwin blog?

CMM: No but my tweets are very pro @AdamSBaldwin so people turn on me. Wait, they turn on me anyway. Never mind. 😉

Me: HAH! Must be that whole natural meanie thing. Oh well, their loss. They don’t know your squooshy insides.

CMM: Bad math? I am pretty sure 5 x 2 = 10. There is just math and that is it, doll.

Me: Actually you’re right. You lost half a percentage more of a follower than me, if you do the math for reals. But still.

CMM: Even the people who know my “squooshy insides” cringe at my evil side. 🙂

Me: As well they ought!

CMM: Half a percentage? Sigh. 2/500 = 3.5%; 10/1200 = 0.8%. You lost way more than me. Realser math!

Me: Ok wtf did I do? I did 2 out of 496 vs 10 out of 1218. And apparently mistyped?

CMM: I used the math trick my enviro science prof taught me in da college.

Me: HUGE LOL.  Don’t mess with my puny brain when I’m this tired *pouts* But that was funny 😉

CMM: LOL! That was fun. I haven’t laughed that hard since I was a little girl.

Me: I’m going to come up to you at ComicCon & smack you. And now you’ll know why. 😉

CMM: Want to sell SDCC 2010 tickets! Too many people want to slap me.

Me: No, smack. Slapping implies I would hit you in the face.

CMM: Next time you want that conversation just call me. Sheesh. Think of the kids!

Me: OMG! I didn’t mean like THAT. YOU think of the kids! (Christ, we sound like mom & dad)

CMM: Sure, sure. Tell it to the kids when I pick them up from the PSYCHOLOGIST!

Me: Oh, now with the therapist schtick again. My attorney told me not to discuss this with you.

CMM: Your “attorney?” Still living that lie? Well, the kids know the truth & they hate you. Oh & please return their Elmo DVD. Thx

Me: I am not letting the kids watch that leftist twaddle & have therefore ran the Elmo DVD over with my SUV. *bursts into tears*

CMM: I always knew you hated the kids as much as you hate the planet! FASCIST!

Me: I LOVE the children. I want them to live in a world free of screaming barely literate leftist puppets. Why don’t you get me?

CMM: You want them to live in a “world free” as long as it isn’t a free world for everyone. Stay away from the kids evil woman!

Me: I get them MWF, you bastard. Also? Sunshine Rainbow Dewdrop wants to change her name to Anne Coulter.

CMM: Sunshine wants to change her name to that of a Cornell toker who loves the Grateful Dead? Right on!

Me: Oh wait, she said she meant Ayn Rand. Sorry, my darling Stalinist. Atlas shrugs in your general direction.

CMM: I hate you so much. Anyway, so I will pick you up on Saturday so we can go out for ice cream. Bye, baby.

Me: Ok, honey! Snuzzles!

Then SexBiscuit said he was jealous of Adam Baldwin and now also ChuckMeMondays. So I said he’s the only one who’s heard me be sleepy on the phone. He said that made him feel special, so I said,

Me: You *are* special! @adamsbaldwin NEVER calls me & @chuckmemondays only calls me to tell me I’m an idiot 😉 For HOURS.

CMM: P.S. you’re an idiot. That saves me $0.00 in a phone call. Love ya!

Me: *mwah* and huggles

Lots of other people use Twitter to say they are eating a sandwich or that they have a crush on the President or to speculate that Tiger Woods’ wife hit him with a golf club because he is having an affair with the President. Those are silly uses for Twitter. The best use for Twitter is the dissemination of true information, plugging your bullshit, & and most of all, finding quick wits & encouraging them to talk. That’s the best part of all.

I’ve made some great friends on Twitter, and I snuzzles you all. Snuzzles.

Wow, so past my bed time.


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