Teh Internets Made Baby Neil Cry

Neil, a petite emotionally disturbed tuxedo cat, just spent 15 minutes ramming his face into my lap top over & over again. “Aww, he’s just marking it as his,” you say naively, because you don’t understand that I’ve stopped existing anywhere outside of Teh Internets. Baby Neil is trying to break me OUT of the computer.

I’ve become, kinda, Skynet.

*just realized my wireless net is called skynet. huh*

Eh hem.

So what happened? Well, Twitter. And that’s good, because oddly Twitter has led to some pretty amazing stuff, and by stuff I mean people. How can Teh Internets be bad, I tell Baby Neil, when I’ve met people like @ktabin (thanks, @danregal!) and other wonderful folks who have impacted my life in such meaningful, positive ways? When I’ve reconnected with darling friends I have not seen in ages? When I am finally starting to live my physical life on my terms, getting healthy, pain-free, writing more, weighing less, getting my critical thinking back? Blogging again? Reading (instead of absorbing) news again? Seeing my family next week?! Less afraid to fly! Able to shop alone without collapsing! ADAM BALDWIN IS ON TWITTER NOW!

Baby Neil shakes his tiny little triangular head. “But Mommy. You used to read books & watch TV &, more importantly, spent an inordinate amount of time fussing over me & less time laughing at YouTube videos, laughing in a high pitched, psychotic breathy way that frightens me like your expletive-laden invectives during football. Mommy, I wubzes you. Pweeze come back to me.”

I take Baby Neil Cat in my hands and, after he stops squirming & trying to claw my eyes out, say to him, “Patience, little disturbed one. Soon, this place where everybody cries all the time &, occasionally laughs like a screeching howler monkey, will be a distant memory of cold & clutter. Soon, you & your weird sibling Persephone Fluff Beast will know unending happiness, working heat, & the constant melodic silence of contentment.” Neil says, “But…my bowl is out of water. That’s why I keep drinking your tea.”

Oh. Excuse me a moment….

Eh hem. Right. So, speaking of our friend, Mr. Baldwin, he has posted another blog for you to get all bent out of shape over, you fricken’ hippy: http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/abaldwin/2009/11/20/pledge-of-allegiance-to-dissent-an-intolerant-excess-of-liberty/

Here’s my response:

“Times have changed! When we emigrated to Boston when I was a little girl, my teacher was flabbergasted that I didn’t know the Pledge despite my extremely thick English accent (go fig). I learned it very quickly, though, & it soon became a fond ritual. Later, like a lot of teenage immigrants, I went through a phase where I didn’t think it applied to me, & I stood respectfully, but didn’t recite it. I was not eligible to be a citizen at the time, so it didn’t make sense to me to say it. I grew out of that phase, too. 

I hope that kid’s comprehension of the Pledge grows, too, or he’s going to have a hard time in law school. “For which it STANDS” does not mean “for which it IS”. America is a country that continuously evolves. At the time the Pledge was written, not everybody could vote. Was it any less valid then? America STANDS for liberty & justice for all, more than many other countries can claim, and it moves ever forward (we hope) toward actual liberty & actual justice for all (who were not convicted of a felony). 

Also, “racism & sexism in the world” are hardly America’s fault. Stating that this is somehow applicable to the Pledge of Allegiance to the US flag is part of what other countries see as wrong with America…World Police. So let that one go, son. Narrow your scope, or you will face more emphatic objections in court than you did here. 

As to your final question, when I was in school, there was a citizenship grade that contributed to ones overall GPA. Therefore, if you were a snot nosed little brat who mouthed off to teachers & disrespected other students, your citizenship grade, indeed your whole grade, went down. Inculcating kids with patriotic rituals certainly can’t hurt, and giving the option for non-citizens to respectfully observe seems fair. But creating a free for all where every yahoo gets to come up with a version of patriotism can only lead to dodgy, irritating things like folk songs & hippie hootenannies & kids starting discussions with “but no, ‘cos what if I’m all like…” ACK.”

Is it sad now that I seem to only find time to write responses to Adam Baldwin’s blog? Yes, yes it would be if you only thought I’ve been writing on my blog, but I write other places, too. I’m also editing something I’ve already written that is just a couple of months, maybe, from publication, depending on how distracted I get.

If you want to follow Adam on Twitter, & you know you do, he’s @AdamSBaldwin. I’ve decided the S stands for “Smack A Bitch”. He’s intelligent, a little angry, & also just a little weird. So if you like me, you will lurve him!


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